5.6..06

It is always a pleasure to see two superbly driven Ferraris racing closely but cleanly at the front while a quality field provides good entertainment as it chases from a respectful distance. Well, that’s what I would have written had I been writing the Mallory Park formula classic report; Monaco is a slightly different story...

Despite the fact that the lap speed in last year’s race was barely 10 miles an hour faster than the winners of that Mallory race (in 328s) and even leaving aside the 'beautiful people', most of whom clearly know nothing about racing, except of course our own Winston D'Arcy, the circuit has a strong and undeniable attraction. Apparently it's even better if you're in The Paddock Club. Whilst nothing in racing looks worse than a string of F1 cars proceeding slowly around a hairpin in the flat, featureless, sterile surroundings of a Tilkedrome, the very closeness of the armco and the buildings in Monaco immediately doubles the perceived speed. What’s more it goes up and down - I can’t immediately think of a boring circuit with contours

Another quirk of the Principality is Thursday free practice. This wasn’t good for tifosi of a nervous disposition. Massa was in 10th , Schumacher 15th. But the team explained that they were just looking for the right set up, and were confident for the weekend and, unlike McLaren, Ferrari are usually right when they say this.

Saturday qualifying could have begun worse for Ferrari, if, for example, the two cars had crashed into each other as they left the garage. As it turned out, that might actually have been preferable. The Scuderia joined the first pruning session about 6 minutes in, letting the kids play first. Unfortunately Massa appeared to be trying a bit too hard too soon and within a minute or so of leaving the pits lost the back end in Casino Square as he turned in, apparently on the marbles, and bounced off the tyre barriers - last on the grid. At least he hit a Martini banner and they will have benefited from the extra TV coverage! Schumacher was on the same hard Bridgestones as Massa and things looked good as he had been 2nd to Alonso in Saturday free practice. To keep us on our toes he was 13th at the first cut.

For me, one highlight of qualifying was Nico Rosberg. It's hard for the sons of famous Dads, but Nico proved that he's a chip off the old block by wringing the neck of a Williams Cosworth, just like his Old Man. I’m still grinning, even though he ended up eighth whilst the always impressive (at least in Qualifying) Webber in the other Williams was just behind Alonso.

After the comedy fuel burning-off session (time to make that second cuppa and ponder global warming) the top-ten run off began. Raikkonen took pole until Schumacher put in a beautiful lap of controlled aggression: pole, but still 5 minutes to go! During this session the cars looked great; at low speeds the suspension moves and they change direction so well that they give the lie to the myth that a modern F1 car is all aero. And so to the last lap of qualifying....

MS went out for a final attempt to secure his pole but at La Rascasse, two corners before the finish, the now notorious incident took place. It looked like he went in too fast, braked too hard, made one or two attempts to make the corner until it came to a halt, undamaged, diagonally in the corner. He then stalled the engine so wasn’t able to move the car before Alonso arrived on a hot lap. Fred was second by 6/100th’s. Michael said he made a mistake...

Flav saw it differently and immediately marched to the stewards, how perfectly distressed he managed to look! Over seven hours later the decision came: Schumacher’s times were disallowed and he was sent to the back of the grid. Fisichella, meanwhile, was docked his best three times for blocking. To many observers, Schumacher's move appeared to be the sort of inept one a 17 year old wannabe might make. To me, it looked so crass that it reminded me of the Prost/Senna incident in Japan in 1989. A more charitable explanation is that Michael's super-fast ability to weigh up a situation and turn it to his advantage had simply clicked in, but the very naïvety of the incident now makes me think that even this is too harsh.

Firstly, anyone who's raced on a road circuit knows it's very slippery off-line and Schuey got the corner wrong and wanted to avoid damaging the car. Secondly, if he had really wanted to disrupt qualifying, given his sublime ability he could have easily made a more convincing job of it - gently knocking the front wing off perhaps? And was it more dangerous than Fisichella’s action? Did he deserve the vilification heaped on him and the various threats of ostracism? Frankly, whatever the reason for the incident, in my opinion, the treatment meted to Schumacher was excessive and it is interesting to speculate why - jealously, frustration, self-interest? This one will run for a while, so suffice it to say that he started from the pit lane as the team took the opportunity to slot in a fresh engine. Clearly, they were taking things seriously and fortunately so was he.

With one of the world’s two most talented and complete drivers on pole, in a rock-solid, fast-starting, reliable Renault, first place looked to be a foregone conclusion and indeed it was. Alonso took two stops, dipping to second for two laps at the first. When a driver is at the top of his form it’s obvious when he is just doing what he has to do to win, and this was such a day for Alonso. Raikkonen took Webber on lap 2 when the latter went wide, and whilst he challenged Alonso strongly, the Spaniard stayed firmly in command. On lap 48, Webber’s Cosworth lunched itself in a cloud of smoke. The safety car came out, there was much pit activity and 2 laps later Raikkonen’s knife-edge Mercedes reliability manifested itself again and the Esel joined the Cossie in the engine graveyard whilst it was behind the Mercedes safety car. Massive embarrassment in Stuttgart (and Brixworth)...

Montoya had no such worries in the second Mclaren and had an uneventful run to second, whilst Crazy Dave Coulthud fought back magnificently from 12th on lap 30 to third at the finish in the Red Bull. It would have been more impressive if he hadn’t already been 6th on lap 28.... Other than Rosberg losing it on the safety car restart, that was about it. Any further down the order is really only of interest to families and friends of the drivers and the sponsors (often the same people).

Yet we had starting from the back the other of the world’s two most talented and complete drivers, which is nicely symmetrical really. Coverage of Schumacher’s magnificent push was dire. I enjoy cockpit shots as much as anybody but when there’s overtaking at Monaco, is there a racer in the world who doesn’t want to see every second of every move?

With his fresh engine, Michael was certainly not about to be put down by the officials, rivals, former world champions or anyone. By lap 2 he had passed his team-mate, the Arrows' of Montagny and Sato, Scott Speed’s Toro Rosso (wasn't that combination in my Eagle comic in 1962?), and the MFIs of Monteiro and Albers, who had clattered into each other in a first lap incident. Incidentally, in the middle of qualifying ITV carried an ad for the MFI Spring Sale. I knew times there were tough, but they must be really bad if they're having to sell spare suspension bits.

In many ways, Michael's rise to 16th was the easy part; having passed 6 cars he then started pushing Button’s. It took another 17 frustrating laps until he launched the 248 over the kerbs in the Nouvelle Chicane and straight past "Henman's" Honda , the driver of which who was having yet another “disappointing” race. This allowed Michael to join a six car train of 10th to 15th, covered by just 3 seconds. There were then gains on pit stops and a pass to grab 12th from Villeneuve on lap 44. By dint of aggression and superior strategy he was 6th by lap 56. Alonso sensibly allowed Schuey and Fisichella to unlap themselves; why risk a certain maximum score for a team-mate’s possible extra point?

This gave rise to a superb James Allen-ism: ”If I was Alonso I would back Schumacher into Fisichella”. No, James, if you were Alonso you wouldn't even be able to get the Renault out of the pit lane. That man is the most irritating James in the country, to be Blunt .

The final excitement came as Schuey pursued erstwhile team-mate Barrichello. He started lap 64 over 20 seconds behind him and in 3 laps had gained 6 seconds; another 6 laps, another 5 seconds; another 3, with race fastest lap, and he was only 2.6 seconds away. By lap 75 he was close enough to change the Honda’s gearbox oil, and we hoped for a repeat of last year when he took Barrichello at the final chicane. It was not to be, for whilst the Ferrari seemed superior on the brakes, the Honda seemed to have that extra bit of traction, though this could have been the usual illusion of close hard racing. The reward was 5th, but what a race it could have been had the stewards applied justice rather than vengeance.

For the record, Massa, was 9th after a solid, workmanlike performance - that’s a euphemism for “I didn’t really notice him at all so he couldn’t have done anything special”.

I must comment on the presentation. I love the tradition of it being on the track and was touched by the podium three, all Michelin men, showing their respect for Edouard Michelin (killed in a boating accident earlier in the week) by refraining from champagne spraying. What a pity then, that Coulthud wore a Superman cape....

On now to Britain, where so many are expressing their hopes for Jenson by flying St. George's flags on their cars.